Anger can be an extremely difficult to control, especially it can lead to impulsive and explosive outbursts. Studies suggest that approximately 63% of adolescents have experienced lifetime anger attacks that resulted in them destroying property, threatening violence or even engaging in violence. Learning how to control your anger is an important life skill, but in order to do so, you'll have to first identify what your anger style is. This article will take a look at 3 of the most common anger styles out there and their respective recommended anger management strategies.
Defusing Explosive Anger
Explosive anger is perhaps the most common anger style out there. During the heat of the moment, those with an explosive anger style are more likely to act impulsively because they cannot empathize with the other party. This means that the angered individual is more likely to react in a way that he or she would regret at a later time. If you're wondering what this may look like, picture explosive outbursts. Those with this anger style may end up damaging property or saying hurtful things that they will wish they can take back at a later time.
One of the best ways of defusing explosive anger is to simply wait it out. It's important to let the effects of the adrenaline die down. Instead of reacting, count to 10, and take a slow deep breath between each number. This strategy will help bring you back to the present moment and relax your senses.
Confronting Avoidance Anger
On the opposite spectrum lies the avoidance anger style. Those who exhibit this type of anger style will generally withdraw from the situation when they are mad. This may include either avoiding the topic completely by literally leaving the area or pretending that everything is fine and ignoring the issues at play. If this anger style speaks to you, keep in mind that it can be difficult for other people to fully understand your emotions and what you're thinking. By keeping everything in, you are more likely to find other outlets to express your anger, and may end up engaging in self-destructive behavior like overeating.
Those who struggle with avoidance anger will need to take a step back and challenge their core beliefs. This will involve being honest with yourself and with the other parties involved. After you have confronted the issue at hand, make sure you embrace healthy confrontation by also coming up with several possible solutions. Tell the person who has angered you the reasoning behind your emotions and how you would like the situation to be corrected.
Being Straightforward with Passive-Aggressive Anger
Not everyone either explodes or avoids the issue at hand. Some people may dislike confrontation, but may still wish to let their feelings show in a more mild or subtle way. Generally speaking, this leads to passive-aggressive anger, which lies somewhere in the middle of the spectrum. This involves expressing anger in an underhanded way.
If this type of anger style speaks to you, the first thing you need to do is recognize that your anger is basically assertiveness trying to get out. If you tend to be passive-aggressive, it's important to take a step back and perhaps even consider writing down everything that has angered you in order to better understand what the key issues are. Instead of doing something passive-aggressive, be straightforward with the issue and give yourself permission to be angry. The key here is to understand that you have a right to feel angry, but to take a deep breath and try to relax while sorting through those emotions.
If anger seems to be taking over your life, it's time to see a specialist about anger management classes. Once you can reign in anger and become in full control of your own emotions, you will then be able to take the necessary steps to solving the problem at hand.Share