An extra-marital affair can destroy a marriage, but it doesn't have to. If you and your spouse are willing to work through this difficult time, then there is a good chance that your marriage will heal. One of the best things you can do is seek professional help from a marriage therapist. If you are the unfaithful spouse, in addition to seeking professional help, here are some strategies that will help to save your marriage.
End All Contact
The first and most important thing you need to do is to end all contact with the person with whom you have had the affair. Ending all contact means not just physical contact but emotional contact as well. Talk openly with your spouse about your day at all times so that they are satisfied no physical or emotional contact has taken place. If the person tries to get in touch with you even though you have broken off contact, then you need to let your spouse know about it.
Answer All Questions In Detail
A discovered affair comes with a lot of questions from the one who was betrayed. A lot of these questions will be borne out of anger and genuine curiosity. You should be prepared to answer all questions no matter how insignificant they may seem or embarrassed they may make you. Think about it this way; if you leave out any details that your spouse asked about and they find out those details later, they will feel betrayed all over again, so be totally honest at all times.
Forgiveness Will Not Come Quickly
Forgiveness is not likely to come quickly, and you need to accept this. Your partner will be very hurt and upset by what you have done, and the anger will ebb and flow for a while. Your spouse will be questioning their own worth and maybe even their own attractiveness during this time. It is important during these tumultuous times that you continually take responsibility for your actions. In this way, forgiveness and trust will return more quickly.
Patience Is Key
If you are patient, the healing will begin. Your therapist can help you and your partner to pinpoint areas of weakness in your marriage that may have helped to trigger the affair. Once you begin working through those issues, then you will be on the road to recovery.
Your marriage can survive an extra-marital affair if you and your partner are both willing to do whatever it takes to survive it and seek professional help. For more information, contact a professional like Andrea Brandt Therapy.Share